When he says
He doesn’t love you anymore,
Roll your shoulders back
And look him in the eye
Even when it feels like your ribs
Are breaking inward, like spider legs.
When he digs up old aches
That he swore he forgave you for,
Smile
And ask him why he didn’t leave you sooner.
Ignore the way the words feel like sandpaper
Running all the way up your throat to your mouth.
When he blames you
For mistakes that wear his face,
Do not scream.
Do not cry.
Tell him that there are boys
Who would be proud to say they’d loved you.
Tell him that in two years
You won’t even remember his name
And don’t let him see the way you can taste your own lie.
When he leaves
Ignore the howling in your blood
And do not get up after him.
Not even to lock the door.
Do not, do not
Do not.
Smell his shirts when you box them up
To give them back.
Not one.
Swear off dating when you realize
You’re chasing ghosts that wear his smile.
It’s okay to cry over him.
It’s even okay to forgive him.
But do not go back to him.
If he did not know how to love you the first time,
He won’t know how to do it the next.

jumpingjacktrash:

0salt:

Deconstructing Masculinity & Manhood with Michael Kimmel @ Dartmouth College

This is an important message on how privilege really works.

a very good post.

privilege is not a sin or moral failing that you have to correct, nor does it mean you have nothing relevant to say; tumblr uses the concept completely wrong most of the time.

the actual sense of the term is more like ‘defaultness’ — being the baseline in society’s eyes, not standing out, not being the sticking-up nail or the squeaky wheel. and the reasonable response to realizing this is not to apologize and feel bad — and it’s certainly not to try to be less default, that goes to really weird places — but to consider your new level of awareness and apply it to the society around you. it’s a useful tool. it’s like a UV camera that shows up fingerprints and bloodstains so you can investigate a crime scene. it’s like a polarizing camera filter that cuts out glare so you can see details. once you’re aware of what society deems ‘other’ or ‘exception’, you can see where to focus change to fix it.

the theory of privilege is a lens for seeing society more clearly, not a hammer to hit people with.